Nature Abhors Vacuum

Nature abhors vacuum, it always seeks to fill it. That is a simplification of physics, but it works.

Taking natural laws and contemplating them in a philosophical manner is sometimes interesting and often silly, but I can't avoid that one. It fits so well.

When in a conversation, do you lean toward the person? Keep your distance and lean back? Face them? These are all basic techniques of creating rapport.

Make eye contact, speak openly, show an open body language.

I can't dispute any of these, except that like all rules of thumb they are only true up to a level. They are what you should aspire to and eventually reach in any conversation, not what you should force.

You don't want to lean in if the other person isn't comfortable and faces away from you or moved back. You do not want to maintain eye contact too much if the other person avoids it continually.

After becoming aware of body language and losing my automotive ability to communicate in a nonverbal manner, I couldn't maintain eye contact. I never had this problem before.

I'd look someone in the eye as I've always done without thinking--think about it--and look away submissively, running with my eyes.

I got my confidence back and eye contact is easy for me again. Only now it is beyond easy, it is a tool of communication. This is when I noticed "The Leaning Game".

Lean in, and if the person in front of you isn't comfortable they'd move or lean back.
Lean back and when comfortable the other person will lean in.
Lean in again, a bit, and they will lean back a bit.
Lean back slightly and you found a comfort zone.
Lean further in when you feel like it, and if comfort is reached the other person will respond accordingly, and mirroring will occur.

1-4 can be repeated several times.

This became an automatic behavior for me, and I was surprised to find it is as subconscious and natural as eye contact has once again become.

Create a vacuum and the other side will want to fill it. A good example is in inter-personal relations. Over-simplifying, if you call less or stop calling a person, then if there is anything there and you weren't just projecting energy into a black hole--they'd call you.

Nature abhors vacuum, and if communication is sought, the other side would fill that vacuum. Finding the balance will increase comfort and facilitate better communication and rapport.

This won't happen if they are onto this being a regular "game" of yours or them not being interested, or feel negatively about it. Then, they may just not be aware it is happening, or care. If they do, you know instantly, even if they don't.

Pinky.